Gallade, Prince of Denmark
by Syphos
Summary: Would you really like to read Hamlet, but the language is just too much for you? Do you not mind that I changed all the characters from Hamlet into Pokémon? If you have answered at least some of these questions with a 'yes', then this retelling of Shakespeare's classic is perfect for you. Trust me.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All Pokémon used in this are intellectual property of GameFreak. All characters from Hamlet that the Pokémon are playing are intellectual property of William Shakespeare (or at least they were, when he was still alive). Unfortunately, I will not make any money with this play. If I ever decide to publish it, I will change the names of the characters. You know, like that woman who wrote Fifty shades of grey.

MR. MIME … Director

GALLADE … Hamlet

ZOROARK … Claudius

GARDEVOIR … Gertrude

CONKELDURR … Polonius

KIRLIA … Ophelia

MACHAMP … Laertes

ALAKAZAM … Horatio

HITMONCHAN … Marcellus

HITMONLEE … Bernardo

HITMONTOP … Francisco

SHIFTRY … Rosencrantz

SCRAFTY … Guildenstern

WEAVILE … Fortinbras

PROLOGUE

MR. MIME: And… CUT!

_GALLADE used Cut._

MR. MIME: No, not that Cut! Cut as in we're finished, next scene.

GALLADE: Oh, sorry. But it was your fault. That's a theatre, man, you don't say cut in the theatre!

MR. MIME: OK, OK! End scene! The end! Fin! Stop! Get off the stage! Happy now?

GALLADE: Well not really, because technically we're not leaving the scene, we're just changing it…

MR. MIME: If you're so smart, why aren't you the director?

GALLADE: I would, but you're a horrible Hamlet, so I have to take this role.

MR. MIME: Fine, fine. I won't argue with you anymore. _louder _Everyone! Let's take it from the start for the last time, alright?

_MR. MIME leaves the scene, the curtains fall and the lights go out. It stays like this for a couple of seconds when a faint light finds its way through a gap in the curtains, which are starting to move apart._


	2. Act I, Scene I

HITMONLEE: Hey there, Top, end of your shift?

HITMONTOP: Yeah, finally I can get some sleep. Thanks for arriving on time, mate, see you tomorrow.

HITMONLEE: Take care. Hey, if you see Chan or Al, tell them to come quick, because my balls are freezing here.

HITMONTOP: Will do, good night now. Wait, something's moving over there. Look, it's them. Hey, Al, Chan! Over here! Stop looking with your inner eye, Al, and use the actual two eyes you've got.

_ALAKAZAM and_ _HITMONCHAN enter._

ALAKAZAM: Screw you, Top, you're just jealous because you're a lame fighting-type and you have no special power.

HITMONLEE: Ahem, I think there are three fighting-types here and only one psychic type, so I'd be quiet if I were you, my friend.

ALAKAZAM: Haha, old friend, still as naïve as always, what are you three rogues going to do against me in a battle? Besides, let's not speak of that, may disputes never come between us.

HITMONCHAN: Said like a true psychic-type!

HITMONTOP: Good night, guys, I really need my beauty sleep.

_HITMONTOP exits._

HITMONCHAN: Who's going to tell him that his beauty sleep doesn't work?

HITMONLEE: Meh, let's just leave him in his fantasies, he'll realize it sooner or later.

ALAKAZAM: It's really lovely talking to you, but I didn't come out this late to listen to you guys chitchat, but too see if there's actually a ghost walking around or were you two just drunk on your guard again.

HITMONCHAN: Al said we're imagining it, so I asked him to come with us today, so that we can all see the ghost.

ALAKAZAM: Come on, just admit that you two made it up.

HITMONLEE: Just wait and see, mate, wait and see…

ALAKAZAM: I'm waiting and I'm not seeing anything.

HITMONLEE: Just wait some more. A bit more... Alright, I give up, apparently it's a shy ghost.

ALAKAZAM: I knew it! You little drunkards!

_A GHOST enters. Let's just call it a ghost, because if it were a Gengar, for example, it would mean that GALLADE's dad was a Clefable. Would you like to have a Clefable as your dad? I thought so! And neither would GALLADE._

HITMONCHAN: Haha! Who's drunk now, you geeky freak?!

ALAKAZAM: It might be just photoshopped, I won't believe anything until it starts to speak!

HITMONLEE: We told you it was a shy ghost. Try speaking to it first, maybe it'll loosen up a little.

ALAKAZAM: No way, I'm a psychic-type, he's… well, he's no type, but if he were, he'd be a ghost-type. And I don't like ghost-types. In fact, look at me, I'm all shaking. Shoo, ghost, shoo!

GHOST: Gallade… Gallade…

HITMONLEE: Gallade's not here at the moment, sir.

HITMONCHAN: Wait a second! This guy looks like the dead king, Gallade's father. Are you the dead king, sir?

HITMONLEE: It's a shy ghost, mate, it won't respond. Look, it's leaving. What a rude ghost!

_GHOST exits._

HITMONCHAN: Now do you believe us?

ALAKAZAM: Yes, yes I do… I'm sorry for doubting your words, you're my friends, I should have never done that.

HITMONCHAN: It's alright, mate. We were quite shocked to see it as well. Now that you're here, I have a question to ask you. Because I know you hang out with the important guys. What's the deal with all these night guards and increased leveling around here? Is there a danger approaching of which we don't know?

ALAKAZAM: I'm not sure, I've only heard rumours… You know how the old king knocked out that Norwegian guy in a battle a few years ago, right? Since then, Norway is more or less under our command. But we have a problem now, because the late Norwegian king had a son, who's training like crazy. And when I say like crazy, I mean it. He earned enormous amounts of EXP points in the last few years, he must be very near lv. 100 by now. And he's coming to avenge his killed father. I'm afraid that Denmark will soon fall under Norwegian king.

HITMONCHAN: Damn… that's not good news. Do we have at least a type advantage?

ALAKAZAM: No… But luckily, neither do they. From what I've heard, the Norwegians are mostly ice-types led by king Weavile.

HITMONLEE: Weavile? Why didn't you say sooner? A Weavile won't be a problem, we'll beat him up, right, Chan?

HITMONCHAN: Right! Let's just call off this entire night guard scene and if Weavile dares to enter, we'll kick his ass.

ALAKAZAM: The only thing you two are going to do is try and defeat some minor Norwegian leaders. You're weak! Now guard and then train, train hard! And if they decide to postpone their invasion for a year, you might be strong enough to actually engage in a battle. I'll be leaving now and tomorrow we'll meet the prince and tell him that we've met the ghost and that he, Gallade, should accompany us for the next guard. Good night.

HITMONLEE: Good night, mate.

HITMONCHAN: Good night, mate.

_ALAKAZAM exits._


End file.
